Burn the Wound
Can wounds make us more whole? Hope so. An exhaustive account of the IHOP-KC mess is in vain unless we allow its findings to change us. For good.
Firefly, an aptly named independent investigative report on Bickle and company, summarizes many voices alleging abusive misconduct in the house Bickle built. Here are the conclusions from this 68-page document.
Don’t read this instead of your devotional. Not for the faint of heart. Firefly’s dispassionate account of sin-sickness will make you sick. I thought I had healed from the ‘Bickle’ wound, but its bloody gift keeps on giving. It reminds me of cauterization, a painful and deliberate burning of a wound to prevent its reinfection.
Firefly affects a slow burn of a wound, now familiar. As I drive by the empty IHOP-KC buildings around our offices, I lash out angrily at individual faces, including my own, for not seeing things rightly. We are all cowards in a way, opting for the status quo. We want to prophesy pleasant things; we’d rather be sustained than be stoned. Real prophets don’t stand much of a chance.
I want this wound to make me more whole. Keep burning it, Jesus. Here are a few reflections in my new season of cauterization.
Mike was untouchable. He gave the appearance of having transcended his own humanity. I observed him as asexual, one whom God uniquely set apart to pray and fast and see for us the bigger picture.
Closest staff gave Mike a pass. (I wasn’t among them; I left after a brief tenure when I discovered Mike was incapable of disciplining sexually immoral staff. I now see why.) His gifting tempted most to not question his lack of normal. Staff reframed his penchant for lithe young songbirds as ‘fatherly.’ When he walked naked out of the shower, they looked away. Weird glimpses of Mike in his man cave, a woman at his feet bearing essential oils, couldn’t be THAT.
Burn the wound. I know many who looked at him as a paragon of integrity. Feel the sting. Mike’s good human needs for friendship, belonging, and proper touch never got integrated.
Mike possessed deep, unmet needs that he stewarded in darkness. ‘Discipleship’ then became a string of adulterous father/daughter friendships where he lavished time and money and attention and got a little on the side. Both Tammy and Deborah had decades-long friendship with him. Like Bill Clinton, Mike bought the lie that ‘he never had sex with that woman,’ meaning only intercourse counts as sin. Anything else was excusable.
Burn the wound. Own your own humanity. Talk to God and others about your inner longings and desires. Your motives aren’t as pure as you think. Surrender vulnerable ‘kingdom’ friendships to trusted ones who help you live clean at core and stay within reasonable boundaries.
Own your sexual humanity, your powers of life and love. Don’t confine sexual wholeness to refusing extramarital intercourse. Parochial and, frankly, stupid.
Get help. Burn the wound. And burn up any way you covered others’ unrepentance cause you didn’t want to be exposed. Be gentle with others and gently seek mercy where you need it.
Burn up pride. IHOP-KC had a subtle arrogance. Still does. 24/7 prayer continues there; its players hardened to the fact that its founders have never owned wicked, cowardly stuff. And probably never will. Mike’s whole shtick is “I won’t defend myself,’ meaning only God defends me. Holy dodge, a misuse of Christ-likeness. Mike, answer your accusers. Unlike Jesus, who was God, you aren’t. Take responsibility as a gifted, deeply flawed guy who blessed and messed a lot of people up.
I pray, too, for the victims of IHOP-KC’s abusive behavior. Firefly doesn’t distinguish between different types and levels of abuse—not its purpose. Pray for those adults who participated for years in a corrupt system. In order for them to heal, they must reckon profoundly with its impact and also their regrets of having drank too long at that well.
Accepting adult responsibility isn’t about a 50-50 or even a 90-10 equation. It’s about healing. And that can only happen if one owns his or her adult agency. To grow out of victimhood, burn the wound. No other way to heal.
Become a whole survivor. Only if one owns his or her vulnerability to ‘power’ and its benefits can one forego old patterns in a new community. Receive mercy where you need it. Let the fire of Love illumine you. Get wisdom. Good exposure (like Firefly) of bad stuff helps us only if it disinfects us, helps us to heal.
Burn the wound. Let the IHOP-KC mess make us more whole.
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Thank you for expressing the Passion of Christ to confront and overcome evil. In Him we gain courage to face the darkness and to support others being raised up into His life.
It is noble to aspire to leadership. But to lead is to first know thyself. Know your weaknesses and set protective firewalls! Redlines not to be crossed by you. Ever! A young Andy Comiskey once said, "you can only take a person as far as you have gone yourself" (paraphrased!). I have never forgotten that! To be human is to be broken -- to have a wicked heart that can hurt others... Only those who know well their fallen nature and have built titanium firewalls can survive and not fall.
“IHOP-KC had a subtle arrogance. Still does. 24/7 prayer continues there; its players hardened to the fact that its founders have never owned wicked, cowardly stuff.” While I appreciate the article I don’t appreciate statements like this. Especially when I know the people there and the families and their hearts to serve the Lord and be faithful even in the darkest of times. That’s a gross generalization that the staff is hardened to this fact- they aren’t. They mourn it. It’s very difficult to read the report and see the wrong that’s been done in leadership. IHOPKC is in a different place and is growing and learning. Those old leaders are gone. House is being cleaned and put in orde…
This is all so sad , there is nothing more disturbing than a person "of trust" like priest/pastor , teacher or adult relative sexually abusing a young, naive person, expecially a child. It is difficult for one to transform from victim to "survivor" and move forward in life , but it can happen. Often the perpetrator was a victim as a child too so it can be very complicated if the perpetrator remains in the environment or home of the victim . That is where a complete excision of the cancer is needed , rather than just a "burn" which can leave a disfiguring scar a…
The more power and leadership role you have in an organization sometimes the more the places inside where you are wounded will surface. If you are honest with yourself and others you will seek out support and healing in these areas when these wounds need attention. You must humbly make a conscious choice not to do indulge sin. Sometimes there is lack of support for individuals, no where and no one to turn to achieve real healing except for God Himself. A true leader is the servant of others and orients his heart as such towards those he serves.