By Cindy Del Hierro
Chris Tomlin’s song, ‘Good Good Father’, swept through many of our churches this past year. The melody and lyrics ring true to our hearts: “You’re a good good Father, it’s who you are, and I am loved by you, it’s who I am…” Like a heavenly lullaby, it soothes the wounded soul by affirming our sense of belonging and identity. Unintentionally it became a theme song for our Living Waters group in Denver. Lyrical phrases from Tomlin’s song lingered over us as we pressed into what can be a painful redemptive process: “You call me deeper still, into love…”
“You are perfect in all Your ways”…Two women experienced His perfect way in my small group. Each one came to the group with an aching wound from the lack of an earthly father in their early lives. Still longing for his confirmation, they were stuck in their healing process and unable to comprehend a way forward. For Joey, the loss of father had occurred while she was still in the womb; her father had taken his own life before she was born so she never truly knew him. For Jamie, the loss occurred when she was 8-years-old after her father was murdered in prison.
Both of them expressed similar feelings of disconnection, confusion and lack of self-confidence. Week after week, the pain of abandonment and grief surfaced. Hearing about the significant role God intends father to play in our lives exposed the depth of their ‘father-wounds.’
While taking time to pray through family history and generational sins, a surprising connection unearthed between them. Neither woman knew each other before Living Waters nor did they live in the same part of the city or go to the same church. But while storyboarding the generations, a revelation came that shocked us all. Jamie’s father had once been married to Joey’s mother! In fact, Jamie’s father raised Joey’s older siblings from whom she had heard many stories about him. He is actually buried next to Joey’s own father and she visits the graves often!
This revelation provoked deep pain for both women. Jamie expressed the unforgiveness she held her entire life toward the woman (Joey’s mom) who “stole” her only dad. The pain of knowing he left her for another family had never been released, until that day. Bewildered, Joey became self-conscious and speechless then yielded to God’s grace in a holy moment. A flood of memories and meaning came to both of them. Together they permitted the heavenly Father to love them in the midst of stinging pain and sins committed by their fathers.
A resounding melody came bursting in: “Many searching for answers far and wide, all searching for answers only you provide, ‘cause you know just what we need before we say a word …it’s love so undeniable, peace so unexplainable! You’re a good good Father, it’s who you are, and I am loved by you, it’s who I am!”
Cindy leads Living Waters in Denver CO and is our Rocky Mtn Regional Leader