I met a young man recently; upon disclosing that I was a Christian, he shot back that he too was Christian, gay, and proudly pointed out to me his new, week-old boyfriend. He showed little interest when I admitted my familiarity with same-sex attraction and asked if we might discuss other ways of dealing with such desire.
He made his case boldly–I am gay, I am good, I am normal.
Rosie O’Donnell said it incredulously in a recent interview: ‘Can you believe in the 21st century we are still questioning whether homosexuality is normal?’
To be ‘normal’ is precisely what drives ‘gay marriage’. It is not because gays want monogamous bliss, or even particular rights; they want to cure the incurable—to demonstrate to themselves and to the culture around them that they are ‘normal’, just regular folks.
Redefining marriage cannot resolve the conflict at the center of same-sex attraction. The law of our bodies, the deeply encoded keys of our sexuality, is written on our hearts. (Romans 2:15) No matter how conflicted we are in our own gender, or toward the opposite gender, no matter how seductive a certain same-sex friendship becomes, our hearts won’t lie to us.
Conscience demands to be heard: eroticizing another member of the same gender provokes normal anxiety, normal guilt, and normal dissonance.
Fueled by such anxiety, guilt, and conflict, the human heart tries to regain balance. How? By convincing everyone else: ‘I really am normal, my same-sex squeeze is a good thing.’
Busziszewski writes: ‘Unable to make the truth go away, we use every means we can to pretend that we are really being good.’ (The Truth We Cannot Not Know)
It does not work. ‘Gay marriage’ is a really bad solution to a profound need of the human heart—the quest for security and significance in relationships when ‘normal’ heterosexual channels seem undesirable. Such ones, like my friend who blasted me with his ‘normal’, deserve patient and loving care. They need Mercy.
They don’t need ‘marriage.’ All people in the land possess a heart encoded by the Creator and Redeemer of all. I don’t care if many don’t believe in Him. His ways are true for all, whether or not we acknowledge them or Him.
And we all have a responsibility to an upcoming generation who are sexually broken, fractured in their capacity to live out what is true. I don’t want a false solution on the books: the lie that ‘gay marriage’ is a just and true solution for ‘gay’ folks. It resolves nothing.
Instead it celebrates a deception, and seals that lie upon two people. That lie will be lifted up for an upcoming generation to behold, sheep without a shepherd, who will take their cues from the culture: ‘That’s my conflict of desire, and that’s how I want to resolve it.’
In response to the federal court striking down Prop. 8, a CA teen boy who grew up with two moms said: ‘With this ruling, in the eyes of my government, my family is finally normal.’
We all want normal. But ‘gay marriage’ can never normalize homosexual practice. Our hearts bear witness to the truth: two brides and two grooms is broken, a fracturing of reality. May we respond to the cries of our own conscience and stand for marriage. We fight in peace; the Creator and Redeemer of all bearing witness in our depths.
I agree. The world in so many ways is failing to teach us what is good and right. If we look at our neighbor to find out what normal is we could become something far from what we want to be. We must turn to God to find out not what is normal but what is good and right and just, The standards are not what people around us are living, they are better and higher.
God created man and woman. In the garden of Eden he blessed man and woman to be united. Anything else is the product of the fallen world under the rule of the devil, the father of lies and deception. People need to go back to the basic truth God set for marriage.
Heartfelt truth is a thing to behold and acknowledge for what it is…bravo Mr. Comiskey for this article. We mustn’t settle for cheap alternatives being peddled by our lost and truth less culture.
It is interesting to compare Comiskey’s comments with Dallas Willard’s discussion of Radical Evil in the Ruined Soul in his book Renovation of the Heart…his discussion of the lostness of the soul without God.
I was a substitute teacher today for a high school literature class. They were learning what a satire is. The students worked in groups on a topic of choice, which they would satire. The purpose was to pick a topic which held great social significance and by satiring it would make it more everyday, ordinary. They were learning how satire can be very powerful. One group chose to satire a highschool class, which was only allowed 10 minutes to do their work. Another group and the impetous for this offering was on gay marriage. The group drew a picture of a family with two dads and their children. Another picture was of two men on a wedding cake and the third was a man and women on a wedding cake. The caption above the two men read ” Dudes marry dudes, get over it!” and above the man and woman “Str8t but don’t h8t”. So that’s the message in the schools. It’s ok for men to marry men, women to marry women, and men to marry women as long as noone hates anyone else. It sounds to me like the children of this generation have been brainwashed by the pro-gay media. Their hearts are stiring for social justice for those who are being oppressed. Yet, I believe that sexual orientation is a choice. I believe in sexual brokeness and God’s forgiving grace and that he will equip those who earnestly seek him with strength to overcome the temptation to fall into same-sex relationships. Then I see this generation’s if it feels good it must be good for me attitude and talk of tolerance and hate crimes, bullies, and homophobia and I am not at all surprised by their stance on same-sex marriage. When I was in highschool, a project on same sex marriage would have brought a few confused looks and probably some laughter but it would not have stired the heart for social justice. So the media have done their jobs well and we have noone to blaim for that except ourselves.
Dear Andrew: I appreciate your thoughtful blog on this topic. Although we have many differnces regarding civil rights and “marriage equality”/theocracy vs. democracy — I respect where you are coming from and appreciate your input. I am no longer a part of your “Living Waters” ministry in the Pacific Northwest as of this past Sunday, but I will continue to pray that the Lord leads and guides you; that He lends you His wisdom and gives you the courage to alter your way of thinking (only if necessary) as the Holy Spirit may lead. I continue to lead a life of celebacy because “to him whom it is sin, it is sin” before my God. I will continue to follow my conscience and defend the right of people in this country to have “marriage equality” under our Constitution. I hope you will join me in prayer that God would likewise instruct me and lead me should my understanding or conscience be led astray. I wish you well in your continued ministry and thank you for the 4 years I was a part of Living Waters in Portland, OR and Bellingham, WA. I was blessed with some wonderful leaders and participants over the years.
All my best,
Sean Smith
Psalm 71:15-18 – “I will tell everyone about your righteousness. All day long I will proclaim your saving power, though I am not skilled with words. I will praise your mighty deeds, O Sovereign LORD. I will tell everyone that you alone are just. O God, you have taught me from my earliest childhood, and I constantly tell others about the wonderful things you do. Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God. Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me.”
“Addiction teaches us not to be too proud. Sooner or later, addiction will prove to us that we are not gods. We realize we are our own worst enemies; we cannot beat ourselves. When we have exhausted all the available false repositories for our hope, it is possible to turn towards God with a true sense of who we are, with a dignity that knows itself because it has met its limits.” – Gerald G. May, Addiction & Grace
Mercy is what helps our generations from feeling despaired over personal, sometimes confusing struggles! There is so much subtle and not so subtle ideology that is taught that even growing up trying to tune in to the Holy Spirit, I found myslef so challenged to rethink and practice putting on the “mind of Christ” as I related to both men and women. So thankful for minsitries as Living Waters that not only speak out the truth but offer His mercy which IS new every morning.
Sean,
First, let me say how impressed I am to see you take such a Christ-like approach to your difference with Andrew. Too many people today seem to just want to defend their position instead of pursuing actual truth. It shows me that you are wanting just the opposite: to pursue truth and not just defend a position. If more people can do this, and earnestly seek truth instead of defending a position, God will reveal it.
One thing that all of us as believers have to understand is that nothing is about my viewpoint versus someone else’s viewpoint. The Word of God is obviously the focus for all of us and we have to be able to ‘rightly divide’ the Word according to all of scripture. One thing that can be discovered by searching the Word of God… no where does scripture ever condone homosexuality. But, rather, the opposite. Here is one such scripture:
Romans 1:18-27 – 18 The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19 since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.
21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.
24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.
This is what Andrew was bringing out. Homosexuality is not a natural part of God’s plan. It is a perversion of the plan. With that said, is it any more of a perversion than a heterosexual adulterer or someone steeped in pornography? Absolutely not. But, just as an adulterer can’t live for Christ while having relationships with women outside of his marriage, a person with same-sex attraction can’t live for Christ while pursuing same-sex relationships. We must be careful to not get pulled in to our societal thinking that is driven by the media. We must hold firm to the truth that can only be found in the Word of God. Without that anchor, we are lost.
2 Peter 3:14-18 – 14 So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. 15 Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. 16 He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.
17 Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. 18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.
I’ve a daughter who’s studying away from home. She’s my only child. She’s my world! She was raised in the church, taught the word in church & out of church! Shes now in a Gay relationship! Now it’s like talking to a stranger! Too much has happened hear to say at this time. But I’m tired! I feel helpless, battered & alone in my plight! The church has abandoned us!
http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/articles/letter-about-how-to-relate-to-a-relative-who-is-homosexual
Annmarie, my heart goes out to you. I will be praying for the Peace of Christ to guard your heart and mind. As a man, who ran full on after the urgings of my flesh and into the arms of same-sex partners for years…I know that even then, my heart was desperate for truth, love and even distressed that I could not find love in another. I know this is true for your daughter, and only the unconditional love of our Creator, can change her heart. I pray now for a breakthrough for you and her. I am sorry about the church’s response too. It feels like a horrible rejection and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that things are changing. As true believers become truly in love with Jesus, we change and see things in his eyes. I will be lifting you up!
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
We are in a very real, very real warfare – and it is a struggle, a true and deep suffering to focus on the LORD’S ways of waging a war that cannot be waged with human “weapons” of whatever sort.
Our strength lies not within ourselves but in the LORD who lives in those who have chosen to worship Him.
Thank you for the wonderful words of encouragement! May God strengthen your arms as we continue to fight the good fight of faith in God! AML
Dr. Szalay-Kimla, Aaron & Graham, Thank you for the wonderful words of encouragement! May God strengthen your arms as we continue to fight the good fight of faith in God! AML
Thank you for your holy and beautiful words. God Bless you!
I say amen to the truth you are speaking.