Category: Sexual Brokenness

A Christian Voice In A Changing Culture

Overcoming False Intimacy

I became a man through confronting my pastor for partaking of his sheep, e.g. emotionally and sexually manipulating a host of single women. My efforts were unwelcomed: the pastor duped his overseer, blamed us for being overly rigorous, and turned our colleagues on the pastoral staff against us. For the first time in our lives together, Annette and I (and Desert Stream Ministries) were homeless.

I loved this man but he refused to see the power of his position, the misuse of his body and other bodies, and its impact on the congregation. His moral blindness diminished the power of the Gospel. The community shrank for a couple years until more women came forward and the overseer served justice by replacing him.

Shepherds with sexual integrity serve justice; they give the sheep their due. No confusing messages, no lingering hugs and longing glances—an intact pastor lets his sheep be sheep and makes no sexual or inordinate emotional demands upon them. Such clear seeing and solid limits result from good moral formation before ordination. The pastor-in-training makes peace with his sexuality, is aware of its power, and learns—in the power of the Spirit–to restrain and direct desire for the good of others. For the sake of the Gospel.

But. Sometimes the runner stumbles. Good men begin the race with noble intentions. Yet under the weight of multiple pressures, dormant weaknesses may resurface and become wicked. I have known many men whose unmet need for connection finds a human outlet, which overwhelms their good judgment and goads them to break sacred bonds all the way around. Lord, have mercy. We can and must pray that such compromised shepherds come to their senses. Unlike the pastor I referenced, many do not defend their divided lives. The eyes of their heart open to the damage done and they cry out for mercy.

We recently had the privilege of standing with a pastor who, admittedly weak in areas, has fought hard and out loud for his integrity. In a dark season, he fell back into some old patterns. We as a community served justice with mercy. He was broken and vulnerable before us. Each person honestly expressed pain over his compromise. We had felt his distancing and denials; we conveyed some mistrust and asked what he would do to prevent this from happening again.

Return to his first love. This pastor was successful, much sought out; the roar of ministry had deafened his ear toward Jesus’ still small voice. He committed to reordering his life around adoration of the One. ‘…the answer to the problems that beset so many priests, causing them to fall into patterns of sin, is the friendship I offer them.’ ()

Reveal himself constantly to a small band of brothers. We urged him to redraw his commitment to two or three trusted colleagues with whom he vowed to be utterly, prayerfully honest. None of us surrounding him were pastors, and thus, we could not wholly grasp his burdens. But his pastor brothers could, and we insisted that he forge a community that would be mutually refining. He also promised to let his overseer know his struggle and how he was handling it; at the same time, he knew that daily ‘truth-telling’ would have to be homegrown, not hierarchical.

Reclaim robust chastity. He became a pastor based on his commitment to growing in chastity, a virile integration of his sexuality that would free him to confirm others with clarity and conviction. We confirmed that earthy call and called him to agree once more with Jesus’ ‘yes’ to power from on high to live a united, pure life—body, soul, and spirit. ‘We need that wholeness from you,’ we said. Mercy liberates justice, then justice is served by shepherds whose ordered desires ‘lead us besides still waters’ where we can ‘lay down in green pastures.’

Please take time to watch our video and become ‘Chaste Together.’

prayer schedule

prayer schedule

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Best Group Ever

I kid you not. After 40 years of leading Living Waters groups, I just finished the best one ever. These twenty weeks rolled out like a dream. OK, chalk it up to extraordinary co-leaders (Marco and Becky) and inspired worship (Abbey singing at piano as we bowed before the Tabernacle and Divine Mercy).

Maybe it had something to do with diversity. I led one of many small groups alongside my coleader from IHOP; we accompanied a Reformed lay leader, a priest, a therapist, and two other Catholics—some single, some married, various kinds of lust—all unified in our commitment to becoming chaste gifts. Awesome.

Perhaps it was the team. Having done the group at my parish for six years now, we are gaining traction with lay leaders emerging from the group who now serve others. Every teaching, we had a man and a woman exchange well-honed, embodied reflections. God’s image in humanity—broken, being healed, hopeful—unfurled before us every week. It convinced me again that lay leaders, properly equipped, are the best witnesses and (practical) expositors of redemption.

The goal and apex of Living Waters: restoring honor between women and men. We admitted diminishment in our gender gift due to how we bruise each other. Perpetrators and victims all: still, the women bore more hurt, and it was humbling to witness these sassy, effectual career women and mothers weep before the Cross as Jesus accessed the damage done by sins of misogyny. We men squirmed, subject to the good shame over our misogynistic lusts and narcissism; we were also subject to toxic shame, which deadens us with self-hatred and tempts us to make women the problem. At the Cross, Jesus met us and bound up our shame, as well as misandry: the more subtle ways that women dishonor us.

Heavy stuff. Impossible without Jesus among us. The Cross is enough. When we bypass Jesus in the gender wars we can only seek to control or be controlled. Docile before Jesus, through the Cross, we spoke specific blessings over this ‘other’ whom God made in distinction from us. He is teaching us through the Cross to love each other, to honor His whole image.

The last meeting, during team prayer, many of us–wearied and distracted by the demands of the day–wondered: ‘What have I to give tonight?’ I received a picture of a golden mantle over us. I could see the anointing of Living Waters resting on the parish and us; unified, we as a team were extending that mantle. I felt the Lord whispering to us: ‘Just enter into My work tonight. It is Mine. I delight in giving you a little share in preparing a people for Myself.’ With that, we rested, and went forward into an intensive night. We remembered the work was His and were grateful to share in it. Frankly, I can’t wait to start again.

Please take time to watch our video and become ‘Chaste Together.’

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Fierce, Tender Love

‘Each of the builders wore his sword at his side as he worked.’ (Neh.4:18)

Fighting for wholeness is at once a personal and corporate battle. We help others refuse daily the lure of familiar gods while we strategize to stop the advance of enemy armies. Like the rebuilders of Jerusalem in Nehemiah’s time, we heal with one hand and lance demons with the other.

Poland understands this well. The most powerful Catholic nation in Europe, she refuses to bow the knee to the LGBT+ juggernaut that has all but brought Western Europe to its knees. For example, France is mounting a national bill that would criminalize helpers who accompany persons beyond the rainbow curtain.

I just returned from Poland where we visited several Archbishops—gatekeepers of the Church who welcomed us. Like all church leaders, they are aware of the abuses and scandals of hypocrisy in their ranks. And they hold fast to how Jesus offers the better way to all who surrender to Him. They will not tolerate sexual identities built on a fault-line, incapable of engendering life.

What they did not know was how Jesus is transforming sinners like you and me, persons painfully aware of the wound but now immersed in the Mercy that has become our freedom, our wholeness, the gift we offer others out of gratitude.

Yes, we concurred; we must resist false ideologies. But at the same time, we must heal our divided members. We boldly proclaimed how this Church has become for us—and we for her—a community of healing capable of routing foreign armies. Ours is her deep wellspring of mercy for good Catholics harassed by idols and demons who seek chastity, not politicized ‘identities.’

We experienced the fierce and tender intercession of our Polish patrons—St. John Paul ll who ever displays the beauty of man for woman, woman for man, and St. Faustina who insists on Jesus’ mercy conquering all counterfeits.

These Church warriors teared up as they heard our stories: we declared to them: ‘We are the Church—members of Jesus—witnesses of wholeness and now healers poised to dig deep wells of mercy in every diocese of this great land.’

We were heard; we were welcomed. ‘Make Your Church in Poland a beacon of healing for all of Europe and beyond, Almighty King and Author of Mercy.’

‘I do not have time to tell about… [those] whose weaknesses were turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies.’
(Heb. 11:32-34)

Please take time to watch our video and become ‘Chaste Together.’

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Dawning in darkness

Kingdom Clash 3: Dawning in Darkness

We blaze with expectancy in this last week of our Becoming Good News fast. What a gift to burn with you: for mercy, for truth, for the grace to flare up as the Spirit leads and shed warmth and light on the untouched. We on the Desert Stream staff are praying to become torches that light up the integrity of God’s image in humanity. A fire has blazed among us, incinerating our excesses and reducing us to something radiant for Jesus.

More than ever, I am convinced that Christians who trust in Jesus to transform all persons, including those who formerly identified as LGBT+, will light fires in their communities. Do not fear making known what Jesus can do! Let us dawn in the darkness of lies that have settled upon our churches, conforming pastors and fellow members to unbelief, false compassion, and an unbaptized embrace of gender benders. Thinking themselves wise, they have become fools and are portraying Jesus as a ‘feel-good’ advocate for the desecration of lives.

And these are saints! A woman in a key leadership role in a church that sponsors Living Water regularly celebrates a singer renowned for his ‘gay’ love songs and ‘non-binary’, ‘pre-trans’ self; she scowls at our ‘change’ ministry. A priest I love claims the Church is not clear on the issue of homosexuality and is waiting for Pope Francis to set us all straight on the matter (in other words, he is waiting for the pontiff to validate his own co-dependency with LBGT+ers.)

Asked to speak at a large convocation of evangelicals last month, a friend was the lone voice who described how her church offers transformation to the sexually broken; she was maligned for it, with persons shouting down her docile offering. At our City Hall battles this month, there were more rainbow ministers declaring support for the therapeutic ban than there were orthodox pastors fighting for transformation, therapeutic and otherwise.

We burn. We either allow the deception to sharpen and deepen our faith in God’s transformational love or we become conformed to it. Wake up. We all live in a false light which seeks to lull us into normalizing brokenness. LGBT+ activists have successfully persuaded our culture that nothing is wrong with gender confusion, be it a person’s lustful efforts to consume one’s same-gender friend or to become the other gender. We console ourselves with the lie that any other way of interpreting gender conflict will irreparably damage the beloved.

How kind our cowardice. Thinking ourselves loving and enlightened, we high-five another’s dehumanization. Believe me, it is much easier today to walk the broad path of embracing whatever gender variation one wants than to fight for something beautiful and creative hidden in his or her lustful self-rejection.

Jesus restores lives. He heals the broken. Do we still believe that? Can we say to our beloved infidel: ‘If you only knew the gift of God…’ (Jn. 4: 10)? Clearly the enemy of our souls has darkened minds and hearts. Not all want the light and the corporate unbelief surrounding sexual transformation has obscured, scandalized, even criminalized our message.

We cry out to the One: Hail Jesus, Almighty in Mercy—burn off our dross and burn in us afresh. Become our good news. Might we dawn in darkness with holy love!

You can purchase “Becoming Good News” in book form directly from Desert Stream or get it from Amazon for your Kindle.

Please take time to watch our new video and become ‘Chaste Together.’

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Slam dunked into mercy kansas city conversion therapy ban

Slam Dunked (into Mercy)

Once again, we gathered to pray on the City Hall steps; this time we awaited the outcome of our efforts before the Kansas City Council to ensure equality for counselors and clients seeking to align sexual identity with Christian values.

We trusted in Jesus, not the Council. It was clear in last week’s public hearing that no council person was chaste; each one nearly swooned over the activists who testified. This youthful band of ‘victims’ had opened their bed wide to the Council for months prior to any public awareness of the therapy ban. The Council and LGBTers had long consummated their affair.

I led our prayer group in the Divine Mercy chaplet, which directs us to place our trust squarely in Jesus. He alone takes the darkness and turn it around to create a radiance brighter than the gloom of deception.

The deception surrounding the City Council during that vote took our breath away. Keep in mind this is the Midwest—I wager each of the 13 Council members, including Mayor Lucas who proudly declares his faith, would consider themselves Christian. Yet no Council member (except one whose mind was clearly made up) nor mayoral aide would meet with us to discuss our reasonable concerns about this ban. We were flies in the oil of their LGBT+ anointing.

A minister opened the voting session with a Jesus-centered prayer. A few minute later the Mayor invited up a host of other-gender impersonators who draped in rainbow flags tearfully thanked the Council for instituting a Transgender Remembrance Day on November 20th. The Council all but patted themselves on the back for this oblique commemoration. Remember who? On the 20th? Why?

We knew then we were toast. We knew then that the express claim of the Council to uphold honor and justice (written boldly on the chamber wall) was a sham. When the ban came up soon after, the Mayor thanked a sexually ambiguous councilwoman for opening the Council’s eyes to the clear and present danger of reparative therapy upon Kansas City youth. Huh. The Council had no evidence of any therapist or teen client in the city who had damaged or been damaged by seeking to overcome same-sex attraction or working through gender dysphoria by becoming reconciled to their biological selves. None.

The evidence: trumped up, irrelevant anecdotes punctuated by outrageous allusions to Nazi-torture techniques. Hyperbole and propaganda. No evidence. Lies carried the day.

The Council vote on the ban barring teens from therapeutic choice was smiley, unanimous, and once again, self-congratulatory. It passed in a flash.

I felt the deadening realization that out of 13 ‘Christians’ who run Kansas City, not one of them represents what I hold most dear.

My colleague Marco was correct. The Council was dull and uninformed, swayed foolishly by emotional appeals to protect the most vulnerable. Protection from what? Many of the LGBT+ set we encountered were evidently wounded souls; now their wounds are sealed in by the false solutions the Council celebrates —surgically remove your penis! Poison yourselves with alien hormones! Marry your same-sex friend! This Council has no vision of the human person, no sense of the nobility of gender, and what our sexuality is for. Claiming to be Christian, they are secularists who reduce the horizon of hope for the most vulnerable.

So we pray for Divine Mercy. We seek immersion in it. Slam dunked by a Council dulled by rainbow opiates, we trust Jesus to turn around this travesty of justice for the greater good of teens in Kansas City and throughout Missouri. We have just begun to fight, and we will do so out of Almighty mercy. I close with the last lines of the Divine Mercy chaplet.

‘Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us, and pour out Your mercy upon us, that in difficult moments, we may not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence, submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself.’

You can purchase “Becoming Good News” in book form directly from Desert Stream or get it from Amazon for your Kindle.

Please take time to watch our new video and become ‘Chaste Together.’

Download PDF
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