Masculinity needs femininity; man needs woman. His angular focused essence requires the more diffused and rounded contours of woman. Most men long for that essence. All men need it.
The anatomical differences between the sexes are only the beginning. The probing, driven, and external nature of male sexuality is a window to his approach to life. And how submitting his life to the other is essential to his wholeness!
In Genesis 2:7, God creates man from the ground. Earth is the raw material from which he is formed. That foreshadows a theme that drives him—the natural inclination toward prevailing over and giving form to his world. (“The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.” Gen. 2:15)
Man needs to discover purpose through the work of his hands. He tends to draw his significance from what he does. And to be respected for it. To a large degree, masculine honor hinges upon him exerting his power on the earth in a way that makes a difference. To prevail over the earth and to bear fruit seems to be built into the very essence of manhood.
In Genesis 3, man is cursed as a result of his sin. Things change—the good earth sours on him, and his labor now seems addictive and futile. “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life…By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are, and to dust you will return.” (Gen. 3:17-19)
Man’s inclination toward prevailing remains, but now sweat and pain mark his livelihood. His pursuit of significance seems strained as well. Can the unforgiving earth yield enough reward for him? Perhaps not. Is it any wonder that he is vulnerable to strife and addictive attempts to cull meaning and worth?
Woman is different. She invites him into a different world, one that is perhaps gentler. He longs for that softness, the feminine gift for connectedness that eludes him in his world of striving and competition. Her many words help give voice to his few. He lets down; he breaths. Woman provides a home for man’s weary heart.
In spite of my same-sex attraction, I was and am very masculine in my focus and drive. What most drew me into relationship with Annette was her relational ease. She engendered a kind of peace in me that neither work nor same-sex unions could. Somehow, her response to my awkward advances empowered me further to avail my strength to her. I grew stronger in love, as did she.
Man needs woman. Honor marriage for the good of all. Vote YES on Proposition 8.
“In Your merciful design, O God, may weary men find rest in good women.”